Monday, December 22, 2008

Twilight: Review

God can these girls get any more annoying? Every time they see any material related to Twilight they go AAHH OH MY GOD OH MY GOD AHH!
I mean calm down. Drop the hypocritical acts man. Honest to God truth? None of us has heard of the Twilight series until the buzz started in the US. If it was really your every ounce of soul, why no one talked about it till now? Face it... You were only doing it cause everyone else was doing it.
 So Twilight the movie is about Bella Swan who moves to live with her dad in Washington. And people practically gave her a parade when she got there. I mean guys were kissing her and doing all these stupid stuff to get her attention and all Bella does is go, "Ooh.... no.. I like to be alone." This girl was boring! No wonder vampires wanna hang out with you.
 So the school Bella's school has these vampires. And surprisingly, no one saw these pasty white kids with glowing eyes and thought they were vampires. Then one day Bella almost gets hit by a truck and Edward Cullen (AHH AHH OH MY GOD!!!) jumps in and saves her. And from that moment on, things just come to a screeching halt. Most of the scenes later were just montages of the two staring into each others eyes.
 Some problems that I had with this movie was that they really pushed in a lot of things that didn't make sense like Edward would be going "Hey Bella, we shouldn't be friends, stay away from me."And then 5 minutes later he comes around and catches and apple for her. And ugh...the cheesy dialogue man.

For instance:
Edward- Say it out loud.
Bella- Vampire
Edward- Are you afraid?
Bella- I'm afraid of losing you

I mean... Whaa?
 Another problem I had was that the story didn't really pick up till the very end of the film. The first hour was all about the romance and the director even managed to screw that up. I didn't see no Titanic shit. And quite frankly, there wasn't much chemistry between Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson.
And because of that, there was little development of the other characters like the bad guys who only get introduced later on. There was little development on the Cullen family which I found much more interesting to watch. Most of the good parts of the show was when the Cullens were together but it was all kinda brief.
 My fav would probably be the baseball scene which was really well edited plus the Muse background music. And is it just me or is Alice Cullen's pitching style a turn on?
Alice Cullen was my favorite in the whole movie. There's some Luna Lovegood-ish feeling about her. Plus the actress playing her is just hot!
Ashley Greene.. Damn!
And honestly, I think she likes Bella more than Edward does actually. Like the time when Bella got bitten by James and was throwing herself all over the floor. Did Edward go to her? Nope Alice did. And she had more balls to resist drinking her blood than him. That stupid motherfucker, I can't believe girls fall for your ass. They should just have a lesbo movie with Alice Cullen and Bella. I'd pay for that.
So watching this movie, I know that the fans were really going to have the same syndrome we Star Wars fans have and like the movie how bad it is. But overall I expected much worse from it and just pray to God the girls won't go gila again when New Moon comes out.

RATING: 5/10


Renesmee_Carlie_Cullen said...

ok, FIRST, to start things off here I am a GIRL! and i did NOT start reading Twilight because OTHER STUPID PEOPLE DID!! OK SMART ASS?? and ALL of the Twilight books are WAAAAYYY better that anything you could write, SO U GOT NO FREAKIN RITE TO GO DISS HER BOOK OR MOVIE!!
SECOND, That Alice chick is NOT THAT hot. ok?? SOOO even if she WAS, which she's NOT, how come YOU can go on about how hott whats-her-tits is but us GIRLS can't say one freakin thing about Edward's ass!!?? YEA OKAY.
and i as a GIRL have every freakin rite to go on about it just like every other freakin GIRL!!!

SOOOO POINT PROVEN: Twilight and New Moon are awesome, Edward's ass is hott, ALice is not, And U R AN IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (so suck it! >: p)

moviecritic said...

actually I'm a girl to but I dont find robert pattinson that hot. honestly he looks like an emotionless robot in this movie and like a retard in real life and I'd pick taylor lautner over him any day. twilight both movie and book is crap and most girls read it because it makes them think that if their average in intellect and good looks than someday a miracle may happen and a hot guy may knock on your door. news flash: thats not happening so instead of fussing over twilight go get a life instead. think about that smartass...


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