Sunday, April 13, 2008

Nim's Island: Review

I've been reading reviews of this film in The Star and I keep wondering why don't people just read my blog instead. The reviews in the paper never talks about the film whether it's good or not.. it just babbles on like an advertorial.
Truth is Nim's Island stinks. It totally grated my sense of taste and considering I spent the whole night on a Power Rangers marathon, Nim's Island was the cherry on top of my horrible Monday.
Nim's Island is about 11 year old Nim played by Abigail Breslin who lives on an isolated island with her scientist father played by Gerard Butler. Nim lives a life of fantasy through the books of a famous author, Alexandra played by Jodie Foster. When Nim's father goes missing from their island, a twist of fate brings her together with Alexandra.
 From the get go this film is pure rubbish with loads of false advertising. Take the poster for example
You see that kids? That's a pirate ship. When I saw that I thought, "Great, a nice little pirate fantasy film." But I never got that. Instead, what I did get was cruise vessel filled with overweight Europeans, who are going to "invade" Nim's island.
 Abigail Breslin is totally annoying in the film. Matter of fact, she's annoying in every movie. The fact that a good hour is just on her being a kid playing on the island by herself was really really boring. No seriously, this girl was alone throughout the whole film and when she finally gets company in the form of the great Jodie Foster, what does this little bitch do? She turns into a little whiny kid.
It's nice seeing Jodie Foster play light character for once. Everything I've seen her in either has her depressed, really scared or courting the king of Siam. She plays a female version of Monk in Nim's Island. And it's really funny watching her bumbling her way through the movie what with her antibacterial wipes and all.
And what the hell is up with this Indiana Jones version of Gerard Butler. He served absolutely no purpose other than Jodie Foster's imaginary friend. He comes into the film for about 5 minutes and he's gone. And that accent he had. What the hell was that? I think he offended the French and the Spanish at the same time doing that accent.
And have I told you how weird this island is? In Nim's island, lizards squawk like parrots, seals fart, and volcanoes erupt all of a sudden but conveniently stops just in time for the stupid family ending. Plus, apparently no one can find where this remote island is but there they have Apple Macs with Internet connections faster than my own computer.
I don't think even kid would enjoy this piece of shit. Stay away from Nim's Island like it was SARS and go watch some Lost instead.

RATING: 3/10

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