MegaMind | Review

When I saw the trailer for this.. I was like, "Meh.." And now after seeing this.. I'm like, "Meh.."

Oh DreamWorks.... When you guys are good, you're really good. Just look at How To Train Your Dragon and Kung Fu Panda. We all know you can achieve greatness... so why the hell do you so eagerly refuse to do just that? There's absolutely nothing special about MegaMind. Sure there were some moments that made me laugh but to anyone who loved this film, I iterate two words to you: Despicable Me.

MegaMind is Despicable Me minus the cuteness, heart and adding a zero character superhero. It's about MegaMind who's pretty much a retarded Superman who get's sent away from his exploding homeplanet as a child along with Metro Man from a neighboring planet when their sun destroys their solar system and both dudes land on Earth. MegaMind gets raised by a bunch of prison cons and Metro Man gets raised by a rich white family and the two eventually grow to become villain and hero. But after MegaMind finally defeats Metro Man, he has no more superhero left to fight and ends up losing his life's purpose. So he tries to get some loser to become a superhero to regain his direction.

Everything in MegaMind is borrowed and splattered with blue color. Kinda like Skyline. It is an only slightly better version of Despicable Me and only because it has a few good fight scenes that will keep viewers entertained for the most parts. But personally, I am getting sick of DreamWorks sabotaging themselves.

MegaMind is DreamWorks not trying to make a good movie and just making a flick whilst jamming it to the brim with celebrity voices that are barely recognizable just to churn out a profit. It takes the comedy from Despicable Me, it takes the fight scenes from The Incredibles and the 3D of How To Train Your Dragon and deliver them at half capacity. You've seen everything they have to offer here in MegaMind being done before and being done better.

I do think Will Ferrel did a good job with this, but he's pretty much playing the same loony character in every one of his movies now. But I will say that MegaMind is his best movie since Stranger Than Fiction. He is shouting through most of the movie but at least he's funny. No one else was vaguely comedic in this film. Tina Fey and Brad Pitt are literally wasted talents, their characters were just talking animation and had no real personality. Same goes for Jonah Hill who I hope dies real soon because I'm sick of him.

But you know what, this movie isn't bad. There weren't any parts of it that pissed me off or anything.. it's just that it's not that great either. Just wait for it to come out on HBO or something.

RATING: 4/10

Scott Pilgrim Vs The World | Review

Dude... awesome....

You know if Scott Pilgrim really does happen in real life, Imma be starting more fights just so that I can turn them guys into coins and buy myself a Pontiac. But anyway, there's been debate amongst my friends if this movie sucked or not and I can see the appeal from both angles, but more on that later.

So this movie is actually based on a comic book series about Scott Pilgrim who meets and begins dating this totally hot chick, Romona Flowers but in order to win her heart, Pilgrim is going to have to fight and defeat her 7 evil ex-boyfriends. Yes yes it sounds retarded but seriously, what video game or comic book storyline isn't?

The biggest star of this movie is undoubtedly Edgar Wright, who is slowly becoming one of my favorite modern comedy directors. You may remember him for making Hot Fuzz and Shaun of the Dead. So far, Wright is 3-for-3. This motherfucker combined this film with so many colorful genres like video games, comic books, frat comedy, kung fu movies, rock n roll movies and typical rom coms. Now this usually would have been a disaster to balance but in the context of Scott Pilgrim, all these elements were executed flawlessly.

The visuals are orgasmic, a real treat for anyone who has loved classic video games. Watching Scott Pilgrim was pretty much experiencing a whole slate of video games in one seating. We have energy bars and level up icons popping out of the air, we got dudes bursting into coins when they die and every sound effect in the film is accompanied with text. Retardedly stupid? Yes. But again, in the context of this film.. all this worked. Edgar Wright did a superb job in breaking the conventions of how a film should be made and still work it into a way that entertains in it's own wacky way.

Speaking of wacky,  didn't appreciate the campi-ness of the film. The comedy was fast moving, tongue-in-cheek but mostly just flat out lame. And I do not attribute any of this to the writing of the film but to the actors. Michael Cera and Mary Elizabeth Winstead have no comic timing. Cera is playing his usual self of being an impute, low self-esteem, squeaky kid. So many good jokes were wasted on him because he just can't deliver anything with punch. Mary Elizabeth Winstead was totally a none character in this other than to be the perfect sexy ass Scott Pilgrim needs to fight for. 

The better characters in this was actually the villains. Brandon Routh and Chris Evans were hilarious in the 5 combined minutes they were on. Which brings me to another thing. How the fuck did Michael Cera beat Superman and Captain America in the same fucking movie?! Oh well, anyway.. Chris Evans as anyone knows can turn any line into comedy gold, sometimes without intention. Brandon Routh on the other hand was quite a surprise. His character was just as lifeless in tone as Michael Cera but it made it funny when he delivered funny lines because it hits the audience in a WTF way.

The fight scenes were a little too much for me. It's tight editing mixed with the flashy effects and lights made it seemed almost like a bombardment of the senses on the scale of Revenge of the Fallen. And keep in mind, we go through this 7 times in the movie, at the end, you'll feel just as exhausted as the characters fighting in this.

This is by no means Edgar Wright's masterpiece but it is a very entertaining, endearing, lo-fi mess that understands it's genres and makes no apologies for it. Scott Pilgrim Vs The World is lunacy with flash and noise but ultimately delivers heart.

RATING: 8/10

Skyline | Review

Tagline for the movie should have been, Don't Look At This Piece of Shit.

So the guys who fucked them two of the greatest alien movie franchises have now fucked up their own alien flick. People, if you looked at the poster and trailer for this film.. it looks badass awesome. But I had no idea the people who directed this were the fuck faces who made Alien vs Predator. Holy fuck this movie sucked diarrhea through a straw.

Skyline is basically a movie where the sentinels from The Matrix, the aliens from War of the Worlds and Independence Day teamed up to invade Earth. It's about a group of stuck-up annoying dumbass people who get stuck in their apartment when an alien invasion occurs in their city, and they pretty much spend the whole movie thinking about what to do.

This is as typical as alien invasion movies can get. This storyline has been done better in other films and had more originality. There is not one single original idea in this movie. Not one. Every little element of this movie was ripped from other films. The aliens in this, though they looked great had similar character designs as aliens in other movies.But hey, with a budget of $3 million, I thought the special effects of this film was fantastic. Too bad it doesn't do a Goddamn thing for the story.

I'm never a big fan of spoiling movies, but this blog has been getting a lot of attention lately from people who genuinely want to watch good movies so I'm just gonna save ya'll your money and tell you the shit that gets thrown at the audience in this. We start with a group of underwear models who have no talent in acting, no charisma, dumb as fuck and have zero likability; witness an alien invasion and spends 1 hour 30 minutes talking about what they should do.

In normal intelligent world, a plotline like this takes 5 minutes before it moves into progression. We literally spend the whole movie with these fuck faces asking, "What do we do?" "Should we stay here?" "Should we go?" And they just whine and whine and whine. And every now and then they'll see something cool from their window, but then they'll go back and go, "What do we do?"

And they act in ways that are so stupid even a retard will think they were dumb. We have these two guys, grabbing their guns and going, "We're gonna do something about this." And head to the roof. Motherfucker... the military couldn't nuke those aliens to death and you think your two pistols are gonna save the world? And it get's better. A dumb blonde chick looks out the window and sees giant ass aliens tear up the city and the first thing she says to everyone is, "I think there's something down there." Really? No shit.

The writing of this film is so lazy, coming close to the quality of typical straight-to-DVD movies. It's filled with nonsensical dialogue, unrealistic plot twists, lazy plot conveniences and useless characterization. All rolled up and spawned into a big incoherent sloppy mess that is Skyline. There is not a moment that didn't involve aliens that were interesting which threw off the pacing of the film so much so that I felt I was watching two different TV shows. One was The Walking Dead with it's amazing action and special effects and the other was Gossip Girl with it's unnecessary drama, poor writing and lousy acting.

Skyline is the epitome of a straight-to-DVD movie that had the luck of getting a big budget and distribution. It mocks the artists of the industry who genuinely strive to create new worlds with it's unoriginal, lazy "so called homages" which will still nonetheless appeal to an audience with the brain capacity of 5 year old children.

RATING: 2/10

Kung Fu Panda 2 Teaser Trailer

OMG! I've been waiting for this for like... ever! The sequel to Dreamworks 2008 hit Kung Fu Panda will premiere in May 2011 and it's teaser trailer is already on YouTube.

Awesomeness awaits! Suck it Cars 2.

The Other Guys | Review

So I'm sitting in the cinema watching this movie right, and I swear I really wanted to get off my seat and scream at the rest of the audience, "DA FUCK YOU LAUGHING ABOUT?! THIS SHIT AIN'T FUNNY!"

The Other Guys, or as how I call it, Those Two Retards.So this film is about Will Ferrell and Mark Whalberg who play cops who are kind of pussies. They get no action, don't even got a real gun and they get bullied doing paperwork and stuff all the time. And then we have The Rock and Samuel-fucking-L. Jackson who are the stars of the police department who get killed after an accident, giving Ferrell and Whalberg the opportunity to step up and be good policemen. And then there's some fraud stuff, and the split up and they fight the rich bad guys, and the whole world is saved and they reached a realization that being famous cops ain't all that and the movie ends.

Now I saw this other movie called Cop Out earlier this year and as lazy as that movie was, The Other Guys blows Cop Out sky high. The plot conveniences that happens in this movie is so ridiculously fucked that I cannot even begin to fathom the retardedness of the scriptwriter.  There are plot twists and things that happen in this movie that will never ever happen in real life. A normal average dude with the I.Q of a snail would watch this movie and go, "Well why can't he just do this instead of that,' or "Naw that don't make no sense."

I really don't get why people are digging the shit outta this movie. I mean seriously people, seriously, where was the funny in this movie? I was sitting in that theatre just praying that they would do a fart or poop joke because I was bored as shit. Maybe it's just me and I need smart intelligent humor to keep me amused, but I really couldn't understand what the fuck people were laughing at in the cinema. And don't you go telling me I ain't got no sense of humor, you're probably one of them retards who think White Chicks is a comedy.

The one thing that I like from The Other Guys is the opening 10 minutes where Ferrell and Whalberg were no where in sight and the audience were treated to the badassness of The Rock and Samuel L. Jackson. Say what you want, but those guys are the shit. I really wished they were in this movie more. You know, maybe like change the story to make it a buddy cop movie where the department assigns the two loser-est cops to the two best cops in the city in hopes that they can teach the retards a thing or two and through the course of the film develop friendship and conflicts.... you know.... regular movie plot writing 101.

But instead we have a full movie of Will Ferrell being Will Ferrell and Mark Whalberg subconsciously thinking how he got from being in The Departed to being in this piece of shit. And the two of them would have worked if the director decided early on that he was going to do an unapologetic, retarded, outlandish comedy film. That formula might just have worked in the context of this story, but it just wasn't funny.

The Other Guys was too overindulgent for it's own good. The film falls into every major cliche of a buddy cop movie we have all seen before. The movie is just going through the motions using the same plot devices and the same twists, without any inspiring ideas to make it fresh. This movie is just another lame action movie. Shame on you Mark Whalberg.

RATING: 2.5/10