In The Heights Movie

OMG I'm so looking forward to this! I've talking about this for the past month and I really need to do a post about this. In The Heights is going to be a movie!!! Wahahahaha god I'm such a Broadway geek.

So okay we all know that a lot of Broadway musicals are being adapted into films like Hairspray and Mamma Mia! And Universal has announced that it gonna be releasing the movie version of In The Heights next year.

 Of course none of you guys heard of In The Heights (Damn you uncultured Malaysians!) So In The Heights is a musical by a brilliant guy named Lin-Manuel Miranda, who played the main character. It's about the struggles and life of a latino community living in the barrio of Washington Heights, which is in New York I think.... And instead of mostly singing, this musical goes one up and does some of it's numbers in raps.
And... it....is....fucking.....awesome!

 I saw snippets of their musical on youtube, and I soooo wanna watch it live one day! I really really urge you guys to start getting hyped up for this movie. Don't worry most of their songs are very modern and up tempo so you won't get falsettoed to death. Hope the Broadway cast will be in the movie.

X-Men Origins Wolverine: Review

Wow, P2P really kicked FOX in the balls this week. I didn't even find out about this until this morning when I was doing my weekly piracy shopping and the dude went, "Nicholas you are gonna kiss me all over." Ok not exactly in those terms but still.

So for those who don't know what's been going on. Some douche bag from FOX leaked out a DVD quality work print version of X-Men Origins: Wolverine which is a really big deal because the movies not due for another month. Just let me make this one clear. I think that this was really really bad. It's one thing to bootleg a movie after it's theatrical release but to slam it down this hard when it hasn't had a chance to be released yet is just wrong.

I know I bought it, because I really couldn't resist watching. And before any authorities start suing me or draging me off to ISA, I promise you I won't give out any spoilers or show it to anyone. You have my word. But I will say this in FOX's favour. The DVD I bought lacked at least half an hour of the movie and the effects weren't touched up yet. So please, if you really want to enjoy the full movie, watch it when it comes out in the cinema. I will.

But I'll just do a little review of it just to give you a gist of what it was like. X-Men Origins Wolverine is a solid summer film. No it's not as good as X-2 but I think it's definitely better than Last Stand, and I haven't even seen the full movie yet. The film tied in well with the previous X-Men installments and I can't wait for them to do the ones on Magneto and Phoenix (if they do her)

The pacing of the entire film is kind of based on the Bourne film's formula, which is it starts out with some really kick ass action, then have a little moment of plot development, then more action all the way through and stop for a breather to get a little more story into the movie. I think it was effective, the action scenes were really really cool. Though the storyline got a bit bland after awhile to the point it felt a little long-winded. But hey that's just me.

Hugh Jackman gave a good performance like he always does. This time it's back to his usual physical appeal instead of his acting but he did give an honest portrayal of Logan and he carries the whole film well.

And one more thing I gotta say. Gambit is effing cool. That's all I'm gonna say about the movie. If you wanna watch it, I won't tell you it's wrong to download it, even though it is. But please please watch the theatrical version. I will do a more proper review once the full movie's out.

RATING: 5/10

Jackey Earl Haley is the New Freddy Kruger

Jackey Earl Haley of Watchmen fame is about to become part of the movie that should never be remade. He will be replacing Robert Englund as Freddy Kruger, in the 2010 version of A Nightmare on Elm Street.

 Do I think this is a good casting choice, absolutely. Now am I looking forward to this remake? Hell no! There are just some movies that should never be remade. For God sakes why can't producers get it through their heads. Movie classics like Elm Street should stay classic!

The director for it isn't convincing me much either. His name is Samuel Bayer and this is his directorial debut on a feature film. All this guy has done are music videos. Does this mean he may be a bad director? No. But he certainly isn't experienced. Not experienced enough to have Elm Street entrusted to him.

The film will begin production next month and will be shot in Chicago. Do not screw this up Bayer!

Dragonball Evolution: Review

OMG this review is like a month late. I feel so unholy. Does anyone even read this piece of shit blog anymore? OK so let me just get to it. I've heard a lot of people are refusing to watch Dragonball here because of the bad reviews they are getting.... And I'm gonna go one further and say "Yes they are absolutely effing right".

Dragonball Evolution is about a surprisingly white Goku setting out on a quest to find 6 Dragonballs with Christine Da'ae, the kungfu guy from Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon and two asses who looks Chinese but talk macam orang putih.

Being someone who has seen Dragonball (not religiously, but I do know what the hell is going on), this movie was such a screw up. The direction this movie should have taken was what Speed Racer did and stay true to the anime version. It would have looked corny but it would have met expectations. Instead they try to pull a whole dramatic scene on this adding romance and other sub-plots which I didn't even find interesting enough to care about.

Another thing that really annoyed be bout this movie was that it tries so hard to be Western. Why do you have to be Western? The title of you movie is fuckin' DRAGONBALL! We get a bunch of white people with Chinese names and a supporting cast of Chinese who try so hard to sound American to the point where it really makes me cringe inside.

It's annoying. Can't do it. Can't win with it. Some of the iconic lines in the manga series got butchered into awkward sentences because they had to be spoken in a Western accent. Do note as Bryan pointed out, at the end sequence, Goku practically made a fool of himself when summoning the dragon thing. Hell I'm surprised the dragon even showed up after the way he summoned it.

The effects were okay, but there wasn't much room to show it off, like I said they were focusing too much on the romantic side to even bother putting in more fight scenes. Oh and how were the fight scenes you ask? It was like Legend of Chun-Li only there were no boobs flying around.

And the romance part of the movie. Get this, an hour into the movie, we already have two couples, who 20 minutes ago all wanted to kill each other. God it was so cheesy. Yeah Bryan your right. If the same thing can happen in the real world, hohohohoho.

Bad actors, bad dialogue, bad effects. What else can I say? Oh and yes the rumors are true. They are adapting SlamDunk into a movie to. I feel like taking a knife and stabbing it into 20th Century Fox's testicles. Hey they ruined my Draonball. I should ruin theirs.

RATING: 3/10 (Summer movies are of to a bad start)

Street Fighter The Legend of Chun Li: Review

After seeing this movie, I am now a coffee mug filled with the Sanka of Hate! Full to the brim, baby! Shit! And I had such high hopes for this movie! Why? Why do they do this to me? WHY??!!

Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li is the most disappointing movies since the Star Wars prequels. It's about Chun Li becoming who she is by learning kung fu from some guy and trying to seek revenge on the man who killed her family.

The big mistake this piece of shit makes is that it's not a superhero film. Instead, it tries to grown the movie more in reality and turn this into a kung fu movie. Which wouldn't bother me so much if the kung fu hadn't sucked so bad. Hello? The title of you're movie is Street Fighter. People are coming to see Chun-Li in her glorious long sexy legs kick tanks till they explode. What's the deal with the producers trying to make this a Hong Kong crime film with lousy kung fu?

The fight scenes in this movie is so bad that I nearly wanted to cry. If Chun Li was  a real woman, she'd be rolling in her grave right now. The kung fu sequences here are so poorly choreographed and I get the feeling that Kristin Kreuk barely rehearsed any of the moves cause she looked like a cute little girl kicking like David Beckham. 

And how on Earth could they take a hot ass like Kristin Kreuk and make her so uninteresting in this movie? For the most part, we only have Kristin Kreuk look like she was just hit by a sand truck or have been sleeping in a cave for 10 days. Cause that bitch looked like some homeless girl.

And what you'd expect when you ask Kristin Kreuk to act? You don't get shit. I already said from the beginning, if you're gonna cast Kristin Kreuk, make sure you show more of her legs than her trying to act like she's sad. It's like asking Megan Fox to be in Transformers deliver a serious line than just show us her boobs.

And while we're on the subject of bad acting. How bad was Chris Klein's acting in this? He kind of reminded me of the guy from Garbage Day cause all he does is speak in the same intense tone with the same intense face and he thinks that is acting. I mean, this guy's acting was so bad that it was good. I laughed my ass off through the whole film every time he comes on screen cause this guy is just downright ridiculous. What we need now is a movie where all we have is Chris Klein reciting Shakespeare monologues. Now that would be a funny movie.

Oh and it really helps build tension in the movie when the main villain is the guy from Desperate Housewives. This is such a lazy choice casting him as Bison. What the fuck? He comes off more like a businessmen man than a leader of Shadaloo. I'm barely even afraid of him, matter of fact.. I don't even feel him as an antagonist cause he is just such a weak character in the film.

You know what? All this talking about this turd is really getting my blood pressure high thinking about how much time I wasted being excited that this shit was coming out. The only thing I can do now I self medicate and look at these...

 

  

  

  

  

 I feel no pain no more.

RATING: 2/10