Alice In Wonderland: Review

Okay! So like, last week I posted up reviews from other critics saying that they hated Alice In Wonderland, and after watching the movie in 2-D and 3-D this week, sorry guys but I'm going to have to agree with the critics on this one.

One thing you have to know before watching this is that this isn't Alice in Wonderland. It's more like Alice in Wonderland 2. It takes place 13 years after the original Disney cartoon, Alice is 20 years old and has forgotten all about Wonderland, she's in this Rose Dewitt Bukater situation where every aspect of her life is run by obnoxious British men and her mom and she is forced to marry an ugly Lord. But by a chance of fate she is drawn back to Wonderland only to discover that it has been taken over by the Red Queen and needs to once again rescue Wonderland.

The art direction of the film is a huge departure from Tim Burton's previous work. Aside from Johnny Depp's Mad Hatter there wasn't anything else in the movie that would vaguely remind you of Tim Burton's usual gothic feel. Wonderland is a beautiful painting come to life. The art direction and the CGI are so gorgeous to look at.

All the animated characters here were nicely done. I loved the Cheshire Cat. You sure he's CG? Cause I thought he was more like a regular cat that smoked too much opium that's why he's grinning so much. My absolute favorite was the Red Card soldiers which were my fav from the original and they were so wonderfully made int this. Even smaller features like the frogs and the pigs looked great in this.

The girl they cast as Alice is great. Mia Wasikowska is one fine British chick. I tell you the second she puts on that tight iron armor, it wasn't a children's movie anymore.. not at least what was going on in my head hahaha. But her performance was great considering she had such huge shoes to fill. I like how they made Alice a strong female character, paying homage to Disney princesses like Pocahontas and Mulan.

And what can I say, any role that Johnny Depp does, he knocks it out of the park. The sad thing was the the Mad Hatter didn't have much to do in this movie. Matter of fact all the characters in Wonderland had little to nothing to work with. The Mad Hatter and the White Queen especially, felt more like throw away characters that served no purpose to the story and were more like comedic detours in the plot.

The sole great performance from the Wonderland characters was Helena Bonham Carter. She took a role that was so easily two dimensional and gave it a lot of depth. I loved her, every time she came on it felt like the movie finally had something interesting to watch again. And what the fuck is up with them CG-ing her head on a tiny body. Helena Bonham Carter, having a big head in real life as it is... k nevermind.

So watching this, I felt like everyone brought their A Game to making this movie except the screenplay writer, who simply did a half ass job at writing a predictable storyline, zero character development, average dialogue and an overall borefest of a movie. And let's be honest, the movie is practically Alice wondering around Wonderland saying she's not really Alice for 1 hour before finally killing a lame dragon at the climax. Woooo.. so interesting.

What saved me from walking out of the cinema the second time was everything else. I loved the CG, I loved the performances, I loved Tim Burton's direction. It's just sad that there wasn't a tissue-thin interesting story for me to get attached to.

And the final straw of the movie, the thing that ultimately made me loose my mind was that towards the end of the film.... Johnny Depp starts break dancing. Now I ain't gonna spoil it and say what happens. But in the middle of the 1800's, we get a few characters who were popping and locking and shuffling and I was like, "Okay that's it.. fuck you, fuck this movie, I'm going."

RATING: 5/10